Living with a Schizophrenic Brother

Posted by Sister, Monday, February 25, 2008 at 09:00 AM by Sister

I have never posted on a Web site before, but I feel in the mood to vent my frustration a little. My older brother who is a schizophrenic lives with me, as he has no where else to go. I applied for section housing about five years ago, and I am still hopeful that it will be available soon. However, two years ago he was diagnosed with lung cancer and had surgery to remove his left lung. I don't know if he can live by himself any longer, and I wonder if he will have to stay with me for the rest of my life. The extent to which his illness effects my life each day is unbelievable. If you have ever lived with a schizophrenic or if you are living with a schizophrenic, then you know exactly how I feel.

Our parents are both gone now. I was there for my dad when he was ill, and again for my mom until her death seven years ago. That was hard, but nothing compared to this. Not in a physical way, but in an emotional way. It is like having a child, except there is no control and nothing ever changes as this "child" never grows up.

My brother, will not bathe, unless I make him. Needless to say he smells pretty bad. He doesn't change clothes between showers most of the time and will even sit in pants he has wet in due to an enlarged prostate. His room is disgusting to say the least, and every time he leaves for a day or two, I clean it out. To do this I have to put Vick's under my nose to keep from gagging. His room is located off a very nice patio, that only he can use because no one else can stand the smell. He sits on the patio chain smoking one cigarette after another, with no thought in mind to anyone else.

Over the past 4 to 5 years I have grown to resent him. That is the worst part of this situation. I feel bad for how I feel and hope that he doesn't know the truth. I doubt he does, because people with this illness don't seem to give any thought to others. I don't feel like I can invite people over, believing they will be uncomfortable around him, so I have isolated myself for years. I'm single, but I will not date; I can't bring this baggage into a relationship or marriage, so why bother with dating?

If anyone out there has some good advice for me on how to accept this responsibility with more grace I would appreciate the gesture. I am sure there are similar stories out there I can learn from.

Please don't advise me to kick him out; I have already done that once when I found out he was using crystal meth. He was in the middle of chemotherapy at the time, so I let him back in with the understanding that he would not use drugs anymore. As far as I know, he hasn't; I think he knows that would be it for me.

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Posted by another sister of a schizophrenic brother

April 02, 2008 at 12:45 PM

My Dear \" Friend\"
I live in england I too have a 52 yr old paranoid schizophenic brother who came to live with myself and family from christmas he wanted to go back to his flat he has deterirated rapidly depie having carers go in twice a day he does not bath want to eat get dressed go out do anything apart from go back to bed after carers have gone who incidently do not actually do any personal care only prompt.
Whilst living with me he ate drank bathed and i got him into a routine . I think the psychiatric team thought i was making it up when i said its only because i am making him do it. It is pityful and we are having a meeting tomorrow with an accommodation officer . We soon will have to get power of attorney as he thinks he is fine, he always promises he will do things but he cannott carry things through. He has been ill for many years but we have only been able to take charge since christmas just gone as he had hit rock bottom.
He was a dreadful hoarder of rubbish and we had to clear his flat for which he was not best pleased.
PLEASE keep strong seek help . In england we have a saying who carer for the carer!

Be strong get help YOU MUST LEAD YOUR LIFE YOU MUST PUT YOUR SELF FIRST YOU ARE THE ONE THAT MATTERS

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Posted by susan1989

May 28, 2008 at 11:25 PM

Hi
I am susan. Are you an alcoholic man? if your answer is yes. please you will change ur habit . Because alcohol is a poisonous drink. it's spoil your health and wealth and ur life. So as a friend i advised you. please accept my advice. then you will high improvement in your life.
---------Take Care---------

==========

susan
Addiction treatment and recovery resources for the addict and their families.

http://www.addictiontreatment.net

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Posted by neeraja

June 06, 2008 at 03:56 AM

hi friends
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Posted by Rocky

June 06, 2008 at 03:04 PM

I really don\'t know what to say! But feel like making a comment. I have never done so in the past. My father in Law is a paraniod schizophrenic and has accused me of sexual misconduct with his wife. Now he says it\'s his wife...

Luckily I haven\'t lived with this disorder. All I can say is, "How much can you take". There is a point a line...what is yours? How long will you out up with this? If your answer is for as long as he lives then all I can say for peace to enter the situation is to resign yourself and your life to this. ACCEPT it. Complaining about the smell etc will only add to the sufering you are going through. If you are not kicking him out accept that this is your life because he won\'t change.

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